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Digging the Ditch Witch

[ Image: The Ditch Witch Logo ]
Ditch Witch, I think I love you..
On my never-ending quest for fresh graphical chunks, many a ridiculous warning sticker have caught my eye. Upon encountering such gems, I immediately slip into stealth mode and plan for attack. Once the stage is set and the time is prime, I move in for the kill — another ripe chunk cold plucked from the vine. Of course, only the nonsensical, pointless, redundant or otherwise ridiculous labels are snatched from existence — anything even legitimately informative requires a more compassionate approach..

[ Image: The Ditch Witch Trench Digging Machine ]
Such a Nice Chainsaw
Enter the Ditch Witch. Recently, while out on the prowl, I happened upon the snarling insanity of the local neighborhood trench digger. My first impression of the machine suggested that someone had actually mounted a giant, five-foot chainsaw onto the back of a small tractor. "No way," I thought excitedly while sneaking in for a more intimate inspection. As I approached, the utter madness became all too real.. Suddenly, I found myself face-to-face with the ultimate acid trip: an industrial-strength, trench-digging, giant chainsaw. Fortunately, the beast was sleeping and nobody was watching me trip out..

[ Image: The Ditch Witch Warning Label: Danger! MOVING DIGGING TEETH will kill you or cut off arm or leg. STAY AWAY. ]
Es muy claro
Delightfully salivating, I began investigating the mysterious Witch. The ditch blade itself consists of a thick iron chain sporting over a hundred melon-sized iron teeth that alternate along either side of a surfboard-sized plate. Extending beyond either side of the saw at its base, is a large, spiraling blade of approximately an arm’s length. Thoughts raced through my mind as I examined the myriad assembly of caution, warning, and danger decals scattered about the machine. It was like, "could they possibly have made that chainsaw any bigger?" "How quickly could this thing rip somebody in half if they were too slow in realizing the danger?" Good thing they slapped an oversize ‘DANGER’ sticker onto each side of this monster… not that reading it would be of much help if you suddenly found yourself being torn to pieces. Nonetheless, the warning remains clear: Danger! MOVING DIGGING TEETH will kill you or cut off arm or leg. STAY AWAY. Needless to say, I left the warning chunk in place and opted for a few choice digital photos instead.

Jeff Starr
About the Author
Jeff Starr = Web Developer. Book Author. Secretly Important.
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Perishable Press is operated by Jeff Starr, a professional web developer and book author with two decades of experience. Here you will find posts about web development, WordPress, security, and more »
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The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom coming May 12, 2023. Absolutely pumped.
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