clear blue skies and bright white icy snow melting on the ground.
i remember the good old days, with good music and a simple lifestyle.

i remember the quiet times and times with friends, family, and alone.
these memories are yours, because i have given them to you, my friend.

enjoy the moment, change, and thought. watch the passing of time.

words to worlds on and on
morning comes before the dawn
no need to worry
while we wait
night is falling
time is calling
understand
sing along

I have accepted my face. And, I, for now, have two faces. I can smile and laugh and talk with you, or I can simply turn, look you dead cold in the eyeball, and appear completely objective, stern, and in control. When I look at you with both faces, you become restless, confused, and overwhelmed. Do not fear little one, I come in peace, yet I come in pieces.

Even when I am outraged, and the right side of my face is angry and intense, there is calm in the storm. Simply follow my left face, which remains entirely mellow and detached. As if I were one again.

When I woke up this morning, preparing to do some light traveling, I felt fine. And, despite my car needing sudden and immediate repairs, eventually found my way to Seattle without incident. Yet, during the ride, I remember noticing a bizarre taste on the left side of my mouth. Also, the left side of my face felt different — at the time I first noticed this, I could not define the precise nature of such difference, but I am sure things had changed somehow. While in Seattle, visiting friends, I became aware of the fact that, when smiling, I was only able to smile using the right side of my mouth. But that seemed minor compared to the fact that my car started acting funny again, after 300 dollars in car repairs, and after traveling 200 miles to Seattle.

The situation with my face was not improving. 48 hours after noticing odd flavours, I have realized that the entire left half of my face has been paralyzed. I am freaking out! I feel like some kind of freak — only speaking out of the right side of my mouth, only laughing with the right side of my face, and only living with the right half of myself. It does not prevent me from going out, as long as nobody sees me smiling or laughing or making any kind of face that does not match up with absolutely no expression whatsoever. The left half of my face is so incredibly laid back right now — just looking chilly, while the right side is doing all the work at getting out the message, working for two facial halves simultaneously. So it looks a bit strained, forced, and exhausting. I am tiring to look at, making people laugh out loud when I come correct with only half a face.

I have accepted my face. And, I, for now, have two faces. I can smile and laugh and talk with you, or I can simply turn, look you dead cold in the eyeball, and appear completely objective, stern, and in control. When I look at you with both faces, you become restless, confused, and overwhelmed. Do not fear little one, I come in peace, yet I come in pieces.

Even when I am outraged, and the right side of my face is angry and intense, there is calm in the storm. Simply follow my left face, which remains entirely mellow and detached. As if I were one again.

freeedom sized
surprise

PERFORMING A CLEAN BOOT
soft boot
warm boot
cold boot
x boot

warm/soft boot

Dialing…764-1234
Dialing attempt 1.
Dialing…
Connected to remote computer.
Verifying user name and password…
Failed to connect to remote computer.
Invalid user name or password.
Dialing…765-1234
Dialing attempt 1.
Dialing…
Connected to remote computer.
Verifying user name and password…
Failed to connect to remote computer.
Invalid user name or password.
Dialing…766-1234
Dialing attempt 1.
Dialing…
Unable to establish a connection.
Failed to connect to remote computer.
Dialing…767-1234
Dialing attempt 1.
Dialing…
Connected to remote computer.
Verifying user name and password…
Failed to connect to remote computer.
Invalid user name or password.

Editor’s note: the following is an unedited excerpt from a spontaneous thought stream captured while exploring a chemically altered state of consciousness — i.e., not to be taken too seriously. Any spelling, grammatical, and/or other errors appear below as they exist within the original text and have been left unedited for full effect.

planning with detatchmentt:

//how is art categorized in the mind? by which mechanisms are images organized, classified, and understood? consider alternate possibilities concerning how art is thought of and appreciated. look at a trash can. find one. now look at it, for a moment, and ask yourself what you "think" it is. what words come to mind? is it "green", "funny", a "garbage can"?

well what can be said about the "object" that "you" "see"? hmm. try some critical analysis from some cubist perspective? trash talk! go ahead and see what you can think about that "trash can" over ther. confused? try this. take your eye and focus it on any edge of the can. now, focus on it, stare at one spot only, watch the contour and follow its path in 3-dimensional space. you see? folds and shadows cut elitist geometries beneath pools of chaos, details, thrills. a "color" analysis proves beneficial as well, but will not be attempted here.

beyond the analytic, literary definitions and postulations about your "can" lie unreferenced, subconscious interpretations of "living" images and things we see around us. beyond the two-second, snap-reaction heuristic attack on that damn can waits simple, unthinking "being" with the "image" all around us. within the image, it gets easier to appraoch the true nature of its existence. as a flower, you find trash cans uninteresting.

once there, as with the flower, true artistic and creative appreciation begins. keep the words, all the words, absolutely isolated yet fresh within a different realm of the mind as all attention, focus, and understanding happen without them. it’s a space-fold, high-level circuit-scramble if can you tap the flow. problems are problems. the inspiration and creative frequency channel broadcasts 24-7, however, so take your time. many world denizenz often fail at noticing things on any other level than "business". cars are "cars" and "snow" means just snow. why? on a schedule. whole day planned before it happens. stuck with no chance of letting nature move you.

assuming interest in holding on to a shred of creative, original thought throughout progression toward death, thereby escaping the ungodly wrath of sentencing yourself to a baneful existence of being entertained, the hellish perils of advancing within the creative paradigm, a discipline that demands organization, planning, and execution, while merely going with the flow, being spontaneos, and "getting into it", magically manifest.

given that true artistic appreciation ideally happens as one spends the freedom to let go and float with it, then, and given the derisive long-term outcome of not merely "using" plans, but obeying them, the paradoxical dillemmaa we face presents as a real need for planning with detatchment.

««kef»»

Romans:Jupiter:fifth/equatorialdiameter142,796km/778.3millionkmfrom sun/11.86yearrevolution/>=14moons/saturnlikerings
Greeks:Zeus
zod.
zodiac
capricorn/sagittarius/scorpio/libra/virgo/leo/cancer/gemini/taurus/aries/pisces/aquarius
animaginarybeltextending8degreesoneachsideoftheeclipticandcontainingtheapparentpathsofthesunmoonandprincipalplanetsthrough12constellationsorsigns
adiagramrepresentingthis
acircuitorround

zillion
anextremelylargeindeterminatenumber/jocular(jocosejokingjestingfacetious)alterationofmillionbillionetc

folie a deux
sharingofdelusionalideasbytwopeoplewhoarecloselyassociated
folie de grandeur
adelusionofgrandeur/megalomania

foible(fault)
minorweaknessorfailingofcharacter/aquirkoreccentricityofcharacter/thepartofaswordbetweenthemiddleandthepointlessstrongthantheforte>
forte(n)
astrongpointasofapersonanabilityorroleinwhichoneexcels/specialty/thepartofaswordbetweenthehilt(thehandleofaswordordagger/thehandleofanyweaponortool(v.t.)tofurnishwithahilt/(idiom)tothemaximumextentordegreecompletelyfully)andthemiddlestrongerthanthefoible
forte(adj)
loudwithforce/loudly/(n)apassagethatisloudandforcibleorisintendedtobeso

puffy
puffer
dimsum dive in?
mother puffer
huffin and uh puufinn
puff puff gassy puffs
gas ape
gass man

total gass
melt your eyeballsss
herium gass
ape barroon
ape nails (rape nails) (ape hairs)
gassadness
gassedness
smak em if ya got em
smak it up botch
smakky
smak smak
rope arm
of the raw
riving a rife of crimb
noodle shooter
noddle pooter
high crime
high time
bustah rhyme
the aht of warh
war MONger
hahr
whahr
!!!
huh!
MONstraw city
mohnstraw of rearity
of rock
monster of rear alley tree
back woods bedlam
hard wood ram
ha!
sweet
hard wood ram!

total puffs
total gas

___

document describe distribute

2mb n tasty

"B rite Backside

you are going to burn yourself
correction
i am going to burn one myself
z

everybody loves gass massks

its a gas mann

16

-___

january 2003 ~9:30pm :::>

<binary>ok
<@omik>what are you up to
<binary>DLa 17
<binary>marathon
<binary>layout
<@omik>doin layout n sh*t?
<@omik>ah yeh?
<@omik>oh yeah!!!
<@omik>baby.
<binary>ahh yeh
<binary>and it is sweet indeed
<@omik>any perks yet?
<binary>like buttAH
<binary>i need a smoke
<@omik>already?
<@omik>chat a spell - smell.
<@omik>here it comes
<binary>its been hourz
<@omik>maybe we should leave the cold smoker pic up there as a break signal?
<binary>ok
<binary>yesss..
<binary>yes.
<@omik>how long you been working on the layout?
<@omik>are you almost done?!!
<@omik>how is coming along?
<@omik>having any problems?
<@omik>did you use all the goods?
<@omik>my but itches?
<@omik>buttox
<@omik>botox
<@omik>viral injection
<binary>that is why you fail
<@omik>degreaser
<binary>never a smoke in you..
<binary>young padawan
<binary>feeel the smokes...
<@omik>paddling juan
<binary>let go yourself
<@omik>suh - theh haff gun upf thu venullashun shapht!
<binary>kill yourself now
<@omik>NOW!
<@omik>did you get the pic?
<binary>ahh yess
<@omik>in the e-snailz
<binary>very exquisite
<binary>snallz
<binary>butter stall
<binary>jonez
<binary>butter jonez
<binary>smoh breh ma suh?
<@omik>awright
<binary>yay
<@omik>smiowk
<binary>in five
<binary>mark
<binary>set
<@omik>make it 8
<binary>set
<binary>sscrrrch
<@omik>synkroniz
<binary>screeech
<@omik>pppeeeeeeeeeep!
<binary>EIGFHTT!!!!!!!
<@omik>pop
<@omik>freght
<@omik>flop
<binary>ATE THIS!!
<@omik>shlop
<binary>ok
<@omik>aight
<binary>eight
<@omik>aight up!
<binary>ghate
<binary>go!
<@omik>stop!
<@omik>who is here?
<@omik>chris san?
<binary>sum one i know
<binary>i know u
<binary>i no u
<Anon_50>what's the word?
<@omik>what are yo up to?
<binary>sup
<@omik>been doin any art?
<@omik>dog.
<@omik>i need some serious akriliks advice. (akrikulus)
<binary>keep talkin
<Anon_50>art? yer seeing it
<@omik>why don&rsquo;t you shut up!
<@omik>keep running yer fawking moutgh all teh <@omik>endhlalkjen
<@omik>glajgldsaldl
<binary>beeyatch!
<@omik>:SD:LK!!!d
<binary>pimp smak!
<@omik>i snagged some old pulp mags today!
<@omik>westerns and sci-fi from the 40&rsquo;s
<binary>werd.
<@omik>&quot;satan&rsquo;s sombrero&quot;
<binary>from?
<@omik>scored them from lisa&rsquo;s dad
<@omik>he used to be a &quot;collektor&quot;
<binary>hot choker
<@omik>he just collects movie posters now
<@omik>poker
<@omik>red hot
<binary>win win
<binary>2 up
<binary>how was papa zan, Anon_50?
<@omik>papa&rsquo;n in yer oven
<binary>biscuit?
<binary>seward?
<Anon_50>papa was the mama
<binary>heavy hit her?
<Anon_50>she wasn't a quitter
<binary>ouch
<@omik>*you gonna smoke down in a few still?*
<binary>i hope so
<binary>got to get up first
<@omik>*i need to scape the computer for a spell - are you foam car?*
<@omik>*drivin the foam car tonite?*
<Anon_50>i was on my lips
<binary>will
<@omik>no - iwas on your lips. you frog-sucker
<binary>suck this
<Anon_50>Homey don&rsquo;t play that
<@omik>*aright - *
<binary>mommy dew
<@omik>no but HOMEY-seksual does
<binary>ps i love u
<@omik>i love yer mom
<binary>i lover this game
<@omik>this drawing in getting out
<@omik>out of kontrol
<binary>chris
<binary>layout is almost done!
<@_>you liar
<binary>almost there!
<Anon_50>jeff
<binary>serious, homey
<@#>homo don't play (with) that!
<&job>take this!
<@$>chris - you diggin on any ideas for the next couple months?
<@hole>up yers
<@hole>chris-you trippin out or what? watch out for the scan lines!
<@~>refresh
<&job>in the dead of night
<@~>sink it
<@~+%>anon
<#cake>chris i am stepping out for a smoke
<@~+%>ANON50)
<@~+%>i am going offline fellaz
<@~+%>done forgit to save this piece
>%nu<if are still here when i get back
>%nu<we will continue
<@axmint>chris-you should load up some of the other old ones if you havent <@~+%>seen them yet
<%nu>be back online after a spell
<@last>no
<@last>but you may be
<@last>butt
<@last>you buttonhole


Saturday Night Art Chat/Sketch, January 18th, 2003
________
_____
___
__
_

20003

breathe
think
fast
sleep
read
work
release

paint
draw
love
cherish
moments
feelings
difference

real

it has been fire for two months at least
and now it is time to rebirth into a new creation.
who will i be this time and what about the
universal consequences?
i need to know these things before I return.
after that, it’s ibuprofen.

for now, i will draw and paint and mix my music.
i will work and play and breathe and smile.

it’s a different kind of blue..

seriousness in art and not seriousness in art.
be inside and see outside
softly
reveal.

focus or die.
fast or slow
reap what is sown
reap what is sown
reap what is sown

disown and involve
vision, interest
wonder.

and maintain a steady diet of nothing…

shout with balance and fear the Lord
in time, this too will pass.

friends and enemies
dry and wet
and sand and sky
metroid colony.

business never personal until
reset switch and rerun now
see again and sink beneath
the consumer tendency.

the consumer tendency

past low clouds pour into bottom
past advance
holidays
family
packaging

i threw wet towels on the fire for three
miserable days
but yet the comfort falls
into cold looks and stirring
minds — unease, everywhere!

so again i weild the sound
of alien landscapes flying
utter softly whisper sound

utter softly whisper sounds
contemplate a rising.
\

second visit to dune lakes with audio recorder & video camera..

beautiful
beautiful
beautiful

i love the fog.

entering mae valley westshore drive…

seems the fog has lifted — to a degree.
we have… extremely light showers,
barely a thing.
fog. who knew.
but let me just say this:
pink floyd in the house
– ahh yeah.

Continue Reading

And yes, you know as I know — the secret of the Lake: early morning freshly fallen dew filling your nostrils, big sky days, and the chillest of sunsets and evening ambiance air still warm from the afternoon heat as the sun goes down — so quiet, so calm, only the sounds of crickets and creatures clicking and chirping and croaking their way into those glorious, panoramic galaxy star-filled glow-moon nights.

Yes it is that time again. that time to write right what it is that must be thought of looked at and expressed throatly so. so silent i sit here screaming my fingers through this iconoplastic monstrosity. and i see my hands and sad to say see they are withering slowly away yet surely yes they seem to be and i will let it go knowing that soon they will be mine no more. i can move them with full control now i smile and sit patiently for the thought to come in like the melodic envelope of that high high synth that echoes so magically above my head soars head sores as i type this ..flowing froing throwing it all away now i have to ask since i half two acts have you seen your own hands? go on now and look at them for a moment no stare at them until you see that they belong to you as they have gotten older are you scared does it frighten you. just look at those old things. you belong in a cage for wearing such ragged old claws. go on now and sniff that disintegrating flesh. plug it in plug it in. flesh for sixty days flesh in every day–a real fresh fetish and an i opener as well.

mr.,

i suspect there’s business a brewin’ in the bak woodz. geez. it seems like this quarter will never end. hour after hour…i have had so much time to study for finals that i have had plenty of time to do other things like eat and sleep in a sort of spacey, nervous anticipation of things to come. space age. the new millionium. all that millioniums — all that messy, messy meals. hot meals. mcMeals. uncle messy with a hot rockin’ holiday deal. hot fist, fisty sister…twisted fister. aarrrgggh.

picking me blisters,
hot dog

this world
that rapes us
hates and kills us
we fight
and fight
and fight
but to no avail because the world
has us trapped.
never a thing of peace
only striving after vanity
and lofty wishful thinking.
everything about everything
will fuck with you
while demanding full compliance
with its every desire
saying, "be this way do that for me
only me think of me love me."
full conformity
yet not enough for this world.

7-99

[It’s] the withered fragment,
             Red and dry
   And delicate, ripe with time —
   Enticingly… invitingly…
             Inspiring
Its opening.
   Once inside,
The essence creates another eternity —
   Among the parasites…
             Explore.

Business trips, belated reality. Soon before forgotten business, there was pleasure. Good pleasures hated bad business, they fought always. Business before pleasure then business then pleasure. Soon there was no business nor pleasure to be found. The people panicked. Business was back but no pleasure. Shocked, the people locked their businesses, they ran for pleasure and hid from leisure on the day that business took over.