Category Archive for “Nonsense

Here is a list of all articles categorized as “Nonsense” In addition to these fine entries, be sure to check out our featured articles in the next column. If you enjoy the content, you may subscribe to our main content feed to stay current.

Have Peace of Mind
Looking for the perfect dedicated server? Well, “Don’t Just a Dedicated Server!” — “Have Peace of Mind!” with Daily Razor Hosting. Have a Peace of Mind
Website Cluster Graphs
Ever imagine your website represented as a cluster graph? Well prepare your DOM and check out Sala’s Websites as Graphs project. Each map represents a single website page, each dot represents a different tag, and each color represents a different set of tags. Here is the graphical representation for Perishable Press: Perishable Press DOM Graph
Gizoogle Gonna Break it Down
Gangsta lean. Gangsta tuff. Da Gizoogle Search Engine & Translator delivahz da roofless bidniss fo' da previous post: Osseus Website Yo Multimedia artist extraordizzle Kenneth Paul Schrag — betta known as Osseus ta his fellow DLa posse — is currently in tha process of updat'n his personal design portfolio website (Flash required) aww nah. Ken's aww ...
Phish Phight
I love reading these things.. Your online credit card account has high-risk activity status. We are contacting you to remind you that on March. 13, 2006 our Account Review Team identified some unusual activity in your account. In accordance with Chase Bank's User Agreement and to ensure that your account has not been compromised, access to your account was limited. Your account access will remain limited until this issue has been resolved. We encourage you to log in ...
Phish or Die
Ahh, the joys of stealing from people... Dear Customer Of The WellsFargo Internet Banking ? We Have Noticed That Your Wells Fargo Online Bank Account Needs To Be Updated, because we have made a new updates on our online banking service and we lost some information of our customer online banking accounts, we are sorry for that but you should update your Wells Fargo online bank account. To verify your online account and access your bank account, to be ...
Pathetic Phishing Attempt
For a good laugh, consider the following email message: Subject: Attention! Several VISA Credit Card bases have been LOST! Good afternoon, unfortunately some processings have been cracked by hackers, so a new secure code to protect your data has been introduced by visa. You should check your card balance and in case of suspicious transactions immediately contact your card issuing bank. If all transactions are alright, it doesn't mean the card is not lost and cannot be used. Probably, your card ...
Scenes from Deep Space
The Millennium Falcon speeds through deep space, closely followed by a firing Imperial Star Destroyer. A large asteroid about the same size as the Falcon tumbles rapidly toward the starship. The tiny Falcon banks to avoid the giant asteroid as smaller rocks pelt its surface. Then the small craft roars under the asteroid which explodes harmlessly on the hull of the vast Star Destroyer. Ready, are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I ...
Modern Turdz
Modernista! File under: Inspiration, Creativity, Graphics, and Flash: Modernista!
Electric Sheep and the ASCII Matrix
Electric Sheep Paying homage to Philip K. Dick’s novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? via collective screensaver morphology: electricsheep.org. Plus, be sure to experience this moving ASCII rendition of the “bullet-dodging” scene from The Matrix: ASCII Matrix Scene.
Japanese Insanity
Shouts out to Freakish Carnival Utopia for capturing this clip from a very popular Japanese television show (right-click and save to computer): Japanese Insanity ( ~1.5mb | zipped .wmv file |downloads )
Surreal it Hurts
For a good laugh (or reason to be even more depressed), check out the so-called “triple-aught-dot-com” domain sale, www.000.com, which makes no apologies for its blatant capitalistic piggishness. Seriously, it’s no joke when somebody is asking “...$500,000 U.S. (firm) on a first come basis” for a domain name. But then again, “the name itself has an extraordinary advantage in alphabetized site listings,” and after all, “the three zeros makes it an excellent ...
Tom and Jerry Chillz
[ Tom & Jerry Cartoon Resources ]

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Perishable Press is the virtual playground of Jeff Starr — visionary, founder and lead developer of Monzilla Media, a small web and graphic design company in the lush desert oasis of Moses Lake, Washington. Perishable Press features articles and tutorials on many aspects of digital design..

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Tons of Firewalls

Tuesday, 7 October 2008, 1:45 am

Recently overheard on conservative talk radio (instructing listeners how to obtain a free promotional video from their new website):

“This website has tons and tons of firewalls, so you have to use your real email address to download the video..”

The Quiet Search Revolution

Monday, 6 October 2008, 12:15 pm

Just a thought.. As awesome as Google is these days, it would suck if they ended up owning the entire search-engine business. When they get to the point where all competition is impossible (due to their sheer size, financial resources, media influence, etc.), how many alternate search engines will have the resources for continuous improvement and top-quality search results? When this happens, we will have no choice but to do exactly what Google tells us to do.

As deeply ingrained as it is for everyone to instinctively and unthinkingly turn to Google for their search activity, it is time to leave a few alternate search tabs open for as much use as possible. Instead of using Google just because that’s what you always do, try your search on MSN, Yahoo, Ask, or any of the other independent search engines instead. Sharing traffic with other search engines is a nice, quiet way to keep the competitive spirit alive and well in the search-engine business.

Disappearing WordPress Posts

Wednesday, 1 October 2008, 7:50 pm

Today I experienced difficulties while trying to publish or even save new posts in WordPress. I would compose the post as usual, add all of the keywords, tags, meta tags, and so on, but as soon as I clicked the “Publish” or “Save” button, the post would just disappear from existence.

The weird thing is that during the drafting process, WordPress’ default auto-save feature showed that the post had been saved at expected intervals. Unfortunately, after trying to publish several different posts, WordPress showed absolutely no record of the posts ever being created. They simply vanished into thin air.

Fortunately, a little investigation revealed the culprit. If you should find yourself dealing with this same issue, here are some different things that you should try. First, re-upload fresh copies of your entire WordPress installation. I don’t know why exactly, but apparently various files can either go stale or completely disappear from the server. Overwriting or writing fresh files may do the trick.

If that doesn’t work, check your WordPress database for errors. In my case, a little investigation revealed that something had caused a couple of fatal errors in the wp_posts table. Fortunately, checking and repairing the table solved the issue.

Tumblr Battles

Wednesday, 1 October 2008, 5:30 pm

Please excuse the duplicate Tumbr posts.. seems there is no way to ping Tumblr to refresh/rebuild the RSS feed according to changes in post content. So, to resolve the issue I have discussed now like two or three times regarding paragraph elements and proper feed formatting, I have no choice but to repost a majority of my text posts.

This is necessary for the proper import and display of my Tumblr feed into WordPress. Currently, there are five items displayed at once, each styled according to proper inclusion of paragraph tags. Thus, whenever the Tumblr feed “forgets” to enclose single-paragraph posts with the proper tags, the result is an unstyled post entry displayed on my site.

Assuming that makes sense, you will please excuse my dust while I repost a few older entries in an attempt to reconstruct (the hard way) a properly formatted Tumblr feed.

More Optimization Measures

Wednesday, 1 October 2008, 5:27 pm

Another important step in improving the performance of my recent redesign involves the optimization of both CSS and JavaScript content. During development there were around 15 server requests for these two types of files, 10 JavaScript files and 5 CSS files. This was okay for my own use, but would not work for production purposes.

Optimizing these file types involves consolidation, compression, and caching. Consolidation of 10 JavaScript files into three is huge improvement. Now I deliver one JS file for the functionality of the site, one for Mint, and another for Analytics. Likewise for the stylesheets; after consolidation, a single stylesheet is delivered to all modern browsers. There are two additional stylesheets as well, but they are targeted at IE6 and mobile browsers and will not load elsewhere.

Once the files were consolidated as much as possible, it was time to optimize or “crunch” them. Using the sexy Flumpcakes CSS optimizer, I was able to reduce my stylesheets by around 25%. Likewise for JavaScript, I used xtreeme.com’s optimizer to shave an additional 20% off the size of my JS content.

Finally, once I had consolidated and compressed my JS and CSS files as much as possible, I wanted to further my optimization efforts by ensuring that these files were cached by the browser. By setting far-future Expires headers for everything but the statistical files, my site gains an additional performance boost by eliminating the need to reload preexisting content.

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Subscribe to Comments Recent Dialogue

  • Adam Singer: Thanks for this. You're right, if it isn't broken, don't fix it. I was about to update my permalinks and install a plugin to redire...
  • Marilyn: It looks great on my browser! I wish I had that much creativity in my head! It's gorgeous!...
  • Randy: "Too girly?" It looks like a great design. Define "too girly!"...
  • Christopher Ross: .htaccess based redirects are wonderful. I'm always baffled by web professionals who don't take the time to learn more about them....
  • federico: Hi Jeff... tnx so much...it worked perfectly... c u Federico...
  • Cooltad: The skin seems (mostly) fine in my expert opinion. Your one of the few people able to make a design with a transparent table and a b...
  • Neal: The free Intro to Linux book is a great place to start http://www.ischool.utexas.edu/mirrors/LDP/LDP/intro-linux/html/index.html ...
  • Louis: @Jeff: Your “Archives” page is slick, although I would expect a cleaner implementation from such a vehement advoc...
  • Jeremy: Well I think that you may be over-critical, I don't see a darn thing wrong with it - I like it a lot!...
  • Jeff Starr: Alright, this is exactly the kind of information I was hoping to get. Lots of great ideas and recommendations here. I will be reading...

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